Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Life With Two

It's been forever since I've posted. There really isn't a good reason why. Life I guess. I started writing so I could document Thomas' childhood and our experiences as a family. Tonight I was reminded why it is so important that I make the effort. Re-reading some of the posts reminded me how easy it is to forget. As life flies by, you tend to move with it and all those wonderful little tiny details of the past are replaced with the present. Our life has changed and been enriched by our beautiful daughter Emily. I would only be remiss not to document our life together.

Emily is four months old now, almost five. It has gone by way too fast. I hate how big both kids are getting. Emily is an amazing baby. She really is well natured, only crying when she is hungry or tired. She loves to be apart of the group, often sitting in her car seat on the kitchen table while we eat dinner because no other spot in the house makes her happy. She much prefers standing over laying back/down. Her saucer or jumper quickly quiets her whimpers. We are still working on sleep, definitely not getting as much as I'd like but there is a part of me that loves our 2,3,4 am feeding sessions. The house is peaceful and it's just her and I. I rub her head and watch her little hand move all over my neck. She has even started to press her little fingers against my mouth almost as if to be asking for a kiss. It is the one time when it's just the two of us and I can be present so I'm not anxious for that to disappear.

Thomas is a great big brother and Emily just adores him. He is always making her smile. Since she has been born he has always had a willingness to help whether it be grabbing a toy, another blanket or trying to put her pacifier in her mouth. Watching the two of them interact is one of my favorite things. Her eyes just follow him. Their admiration for one another is already visible and will be a great foundation for their relationship.

Thomas is almost 3 1/2 years old and in school two days a week. He is a gentle soul. His teacher told me today when I picked him that he was sitting down for lunch at a table with his friend Nate. His lunch box was unpacked and he noticed his little friend Lilly crying at a table across from him. She was sad, missing her Mommy and Thomas started to pack up his lunch. The teacher came over and said "Thomas you can sit here and eat" and he said "No I am going to go sit next to Lilly and make her feel better." She thought that was so kind of him. She said it wasn't prompted, just simply something he wanted to do. I was so incredibly proud of him. I hope he always carries such kindness.

Thomas is a car lover, anything with wheels. Fire trucks, ambulances, police cars, trash trucks passing us on the road make his day. He often sees them way down the road almost before they are even visible screaming for me to look. He loves to wrestle with daddy and play sports. He isn't discriminatory. He likes them all and is actually pretty good at them. He is learning so much. It is so fun to watch him discover the world.

Life with two has been a challenge. It has taken some time for me to figure out how to juggle and try to meet everyone's needs. Often times one has to sacrifice for the other. I feel guilty providing less than a hundred percent to each of them but I haven't figured out any other way yet. I feel obligated to be better, especially to Thomas. His life has changed the most and he is handling it so well. He really is a fabulous boy. Often my patience is short and he bares the brunt. There isn't much comfort in the fact most moms have these feelings and experiences nor is there any knowing they won't they won't remember this when they are older. I think it's because it's not the Mom I want to be. It's a standard I have for myself and finding justifications for giving less isn't something that makes me feel good. I know I am capable of so much more and they deserve to have the best mommy.

We are blessed to have such a great life to two fabulous kids. Everyday I look at them and am so thankful. There isn't a day that goes by that doesn't offer a moment that makes me stop and smile.